BY: TORI
My dad was murdered, only two weeks before my first birthday. So I don’t really remember that much about him. Only a very small part, it was late October and he was bringing my grandmother a birthday cake. It was a carrot cake. My grandma tells me I’m way too young to remember that. But I do, and everything that I told her I remembered, she did too. It wasn't long after my father’s passing when my siblings and I were taken away from my mother by Child Protection Services. They say we were in an “unsafe environment” whatever that means. Not even a whole day went by, before my grandmother came bursting into those doors. I really don't remember much of what was said. Honestly, I didn’t pay that much attention either. All I knew was that in the next few hours, I was going home with my grandma. There she went again “Saving the day.” She always saved my day.
Unfortunately the roles started to change quicker than I expected. My grandmother is 62, and I’m now 16. Her health took a turn for the worse, and now the person who I depended on started to depend on me. So because of this our relationship changed... I never knew that with sickness comes a change in personality. I’m trying to get used to it, but it seems like it gets worse everyday and only towards me. At times I sit and think about what it is that I’ve done to deserve it, but then I have to realize that it’s not about me. She’s sick and she feels helpless. As if she isn’t in control over anything anymore, so therefore the only way that she feels some type of dependency is by being extremely mean.
Yes maybe using the phrase “my worst enemy” may be a bit over dramatic, but there are days where I feel exactly like that. As I think of it, maybe she feels the same. But for her it’s not about a specific person, it’s her body. Her body is now her worst enemy. I decided to write about this cause it’s something that’s currently happening in my life and I consider it a very difficult trial for me. As I look more into it I understand that this is considered the 5 stages of grief theory, and anger is a huge part of it.
Feel free to tell me about a time in your life where you had deal with a situation like this.
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