BY:
TORI
Is it
possible to forgive? Even when it seems impossible?
Whether
it be a guy who was unfaithful, a family member who let you down as a child, or
even a friend who decided to share one of your most kept secrets, we all must
face the question of whether and how to forgive.
“To
learn how to forgive, you must first learn what forgiveness is not. Most
of us hold at least some misconceptions about forgiveness.”
Here
are a few things that forgiving someone doesn't mean:
• Forgiveness doesn't mean you are
pardoning or excusing the other person's actions
• Forgiveness doesn't mean you need to
tell the person that he or she is forgiven
• Forgiveness doesn't mean you shouldn't
have any more feelings about the situation
• Forgiveness doesn't mean there is
anything further to work out in the relationship or that everything is okay now
• Forgiveness doesn't mean you should forget
the incident ever happened
• Forgiveness doesn't mean you have to
continue to include the person in your life
• Forgiveness isn't something you do for
the other person
Now,
I'm not always the greatest person when it comes to forgiving but I will
quickly tell others the importance of doing so. Not forgiving someone and
holding on to the anger you have for them can cause stress on so many levels,
and no one needs that. Now many people confuse forgiving with forgetting and
that is not how it should be because you don't really ever forget the pain or
hurt someone has caused and then that causes you to start treating them
differently, Which will stir up even more problems within that relationship.
Psychology Today. N.p., n.d. Web. 16 Nov. 2016.
I believe that this is a very important thing for everyone to understand. Holding on to the anger can indeed be very stressful and isn't worth giving yourself grief for as that just means the other person has gotten to you and in some cases, effectively won. I feel it would also be important to talk about some basic steps to forgiveness, rather they be how to bring yourself to internal peace, or talking it out with someone who will respect your anger and be supportive of you. Other than that, very good and important post that many more people need to understand.
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